On the flight to Jo'burg I had the pleasure of sitting next to a slightly large, loud woman who kept ordering one beer after the other. By the time the captain announced we were to start our descent she was on beer number three, no lies, and it was only getting worse.

What started as a few bumps turned into the most horrific landing I have ever experienced. O.R. Tambo was being ravaged by thunderstorms and the plane was caught in dramatic windshears and hit airpockets outnumbered only by the amount of burps and noises coming from beside me.

Everytime the plane lurched I had that funny feeling in my tummy that made me giggle. This was not unnoticed by the fair creature next to me and as the plane, safely on the ground now, taxied to the gate she said: "It's not funny, hey. I almost "kotsed" all over you."

The airport is quite large and navigating the endless rows of check-in desks is enough to give any one some leg cramps.

When I was checked onto flight VA16 to Melbourne with a window seat, to my delight, I set off to find a bookstore who stocked my favourite travel writer's books. I was going to Oz and I had some reading to do.